Light-headed and aloof

A messy me in august 2011, longer hair, more flesh around the bones, someone I don't recognize that well

I usually hate self-portraits and I end up hating each and every one I've ever taken, except the ones where I don't look like myself. There's something so exceptionally vulnerable about the ones that do look like me. It makes me rather uncomfortable and they end up in the bin.

If everything works according to plan, I might be leaving Helsinki for a short while pretty soon. I finally did send that message where I said jag kommer and I don't regret it. Now if everything works out I'll be spending two or three days living with the boy who said that us living together would be an unbearable rollercoaster ride. Hopefully we'll see about that soon enough.

I don't have to go to work anymore tomorrow morning. I'll go for a run and eat my usual breakfast and lunch combined: a bowl of all-bran and a glass of OJ and then run some errands. And avoid collateral damage, which approached me today in the form of 1 missed call and 1 text message. 

I'm making myself used to a simple version of freedom, I guess.

Om nån minut så går jag härifrån och då ses vi nog aldrig mer.

Time has gone quickly. My day job ends for good on Friday evening. After that - emptiness. Or as I like to see things nowadays, anything and everything. I'm excited. There's a dozen of things that could go extremely wrong, but hundreds of things that could shape my life in the best possible ways.

The last few days have been bizarre, so to say the least.

I learned that if you don't have a corkscrew you might as well quit struggling while trying to open that bottle of red wine creatively and just smash the cork in immediately. I also learned that by doing so, the wine tastes like the music festivals you used to go to when you were younger. Awful.

Sitting in the kitchen, a law student from Bologna revealed that had he known how cold Helsinki is, he never would've come here in the first place. I told him I wouldn't recommend it anyway.

A certain canadian showed me what the rooftops of Helsinki look like from the eighth floor. And made me laugh quite a bit. And made me sound like a hard-core capitalistic asshole when we talked about world politics in the morning.

I love how some things, some people, feel inexplicably easy to be and deal with. Sometimes it's not as complicated as you normally would perceive it.

I got asked if I knew the rules of the game and I said yes. I got kissed on the forehead and I stayed the night.

Lust for Life is certainly the best way to explain how I feel right now. Collateral damage hasn't hit me or anyone else - yet.