For the last six months I've been waiting for the day to come when I run

Hjemme i Koebenhavn, Louisiana

Today I woke up next to lovely friends in an apartment filled with blinding morning light, the kind you only get in Spring. In my wallet I had a card with a name and a phone number, in my head a blizzard of hours of fun and confusion; St. Patrick's day, work party with champagne drinks, afterparties and lousy encounters, finally ending with people I genuinely like so much.

I've tried to write my feelings down and just keep on erasing everything. The way I felt this morning, walking in the shoes that gave me insane blisters and squinting my eyes to avoid the sun's full effect is something that I just cannot describe easily or poetically.

Suddenly, the burning I've had for a while turned into this positive rush that hasn't ceased. I no longer feel the need to pack my bags and head to Copenhagen because I want to leave things behind, I want to leave because things feel so easy here right now. It's a relief not to be desperately seeking for something better, but to merely search for new horizons. I wouldn't call this a chance of a lifetime but I cannot help but gush at how extremely right this feels, more right than any relationship or major decision or any thought I've had in such a long time. This is quickly turning into a lousy conversation subject, but I cannot help it.

I feel like I can finally, honestly, breathe.


  1. just wait, the good feeling, the feeling that you can breather can be over in a week or a month. it sucks. and you find your self unable to breathe again.

    1. I know I'll reach rock-bottom again, when I'll feel like choking. My lows are rock-bottom lows but my highs are sky-highs, that makes everything worthwile, I guess.