It ain't me babe/B(l)each blonde/I've started running twice a day - taste of blood in my mouth, legs aching but it's the most free I'm probably ever going to be

I've been here for two days over a week and I already feel a bit suffocated. I want to pack my loved ones into a big-ass suitcase and leave this place. It's fun to drink wine from a box until you're dizzy and go out dancing to old rap classics and get chatted up by people you might have been interested in two Summers back. But it's suffocating. It's homey but too small, familiar but boring, nice but never exciting. I'm trying and going to try my best but if the shoe doesn't fit it just doesn't. I love the people I love here and it is the purest kind of love, but sometimes it feels like it just isn't enough. 

I think I need to start attending a support group for spoiled bleach-blonde girls in their late teens who all of a sudden have no idea how to manage their lives and pay their rents in time.