I am supposed to be studying Japanese history but I am misusing caffeine pills instead

Last night I overdosed on caffeine and messages that were borderline explicit. I felt exhausted just breathing.

So for the first time ever I wrote like a maniac. The page was blank and hostile, waiting for words to be bled on it. The quiet hostility of a blank page is the worst judge you can ever have. But I stared at the blank page and told the blank page to go screw itself.

And I wrote in a fury that only a supremely amateur and close-to-boring writer can achieve.

 

I closed my eyes and I wrote.

I did not stop until I was done.

Like Bukowski said, unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, you should not do it.

I'm not sure if I have a sun inside me, I'm not sure if I ever will

but at least I tried.